Discipline or Behavior

The question is how do you discipline your child?  Hollin has been testing us a lot lately and quite honestly I don't know what to do.  We do the best we can and sometimes I wonder if it good enough?  Is she learning her lesson?  How do we know she is getting what she is doing?  The parenting and discipline debate is a topic of conversation in my daily life.  Remember I am a teacher and I deal with kids everyday, kids who are all disciplined very differently.  These are the type of kids (based on discipline):


1. The "teacher pleaser"-- The kid who NEVER gets in trouble.  They are perfect.  You know you will never have to talk to them about anything other than positive.  You wonder what their parents did to make them perfect, how do these parents discipline???
2. The "slipper but learner"--The kid who slips and occasionally gets in trouble but stops as soon as they are warned.  The most you ever have to talk to them about is talking. Again, how do these parents discipline so that their kid understands NO or STOP?
3. The "sneak"--The kid who gets in trouble and more than occasionally.  They test you to make sure you know what you are doing and if you are paying attention. What method are their parents using and do they know it is only working to a certain not so good level?
4. The "naughty but cute"-- The kid who is naughty and you have to talk to them a lot but they are so stinking cute so you just don't get so mad.  These kids typically have the same name (which I will not share to avoid offending anyone).  What method are they using?  Do they know that their method stinks and it does not work at all? Or are they confused or not as tough because they know how cute their kid is?
5. The kid who is horrible, they are not cute, they don't get the point and continue to push the buttons all the time.  Do they EVEN discipline their child?

So my fear?  I do not want my kids to fall into any of the categories above beside #1!  I guess we could settle for #2 as well!  I really want Hollin to be perfect!  Does she just do this for us?  What method of discipline do we do?  I know a lot of people are for Love and Logic but I am not sold completely.  So what to do?  I want my perfect angel that I love and adore but today... today was rough!

California dream part 2

We arrived in California just in time for my kids to be cranky from lack of food. Once we got to our destination, (a little cottage on the first tee of the country club my parents belong to), my mom had a whole smorgesboard of food for us. The kids settled on spaghetti-os and fruit. Meanwhile, dad ordered us room service from the club house, our choice: petite cut of prime rib complete with Yorkshire pudding. It was heavenly. This night was our first night and I needed to figure out sleeping arrangements for the kids. Hollin had an air mattress that would fit perfectly in the dining area off to the side, (doesn't sound good but Hollin got rather comfortable and fell asleep before we even said bedtime), Johnny's sleeping quarters were a rather large closet complete with his pack n play. He loved it and slept like a champ the whole time.

Sunday... We wake up and the kids are rearing to go. I fed the kids breakfast with the stuff that my mom had bought for us in the cottage.  Meanwhile, my dad shows up and takes Hollin for a ride in the golf cart.  They stopped for breakfast and Hollin had another breakfast.  She ate like a champ this trip.  Who wouldn't when they get to select from kid approved items on the kids menu?  The day was filled with fun!  Hollin hung out with Dad for a while, Johnny and I had lunch with mom, dad took Hollin swimming it was perfect.  That night after my dad and Ted played golf we had a wonderful evening eating at the club.  Everytime I sit in the beautiful clubhouse I look out at the beautiful scenery and notice the mountain ahead.  It is beautiful and my grandfather, Herbie and my grandmother, Llenie, enjoyed.  Which makes me miss them even more.

Monday... we were already on day two!  Really?  This was already going to fast and I was not happy about it.  The previous night Hollin slept at my parents house.  She slept with Papa and quite honestly could not be happier.  It was great to see her so happy after such an awful winter.  We spent the day enjoying the sunshine complete with another trip to the pool and dinner at my parents.  The kids enjoyed the dinner at my parents because they go to "play" golf on the course that they live on.  Technically they just hit a plastic ball around while on the course, which they thought was just a yard.  Another wonderful day.

Tuesday... was wonderful!  By far the best day there!  I got to play 18 holes with my husband.  I NEVER get to play 18 holes with my husband and HARDLY ever get time with just him. It was perfect and it was almost like we were on our honeymoon again.  I can't really describe it but it was wonderful.  I played really well and so did Ted.  It was a perfect day.  That night we ate at the club again!

Wednesday... I woke up with tears in my eyes realizing that we were already half way through the week.  I was dreading the departure from my dream.  I got to enjoy time with my parents, my kids and most of all my husband.  We needed this and as selfish as this sound, deserved it.  Ted played golf again, I had to go to Old Navy and buy clothes for Johnny that were true to his size and FIT HIM!  This is the first time in his life that he has fit in clothes that are meant to fit a child his age.  It was quite the celebration... the little things I tell you, the little things.  We had another delicious lunch and best of all a long naptime.  Remember when you use to complain about taking a nap?  If only you knew how you would feel later on.  I love naps!  I love naps with my kids laying next to me.  That night for dinner, mom was a little under the weather so we had dinner with just dad.  I missed mom, but we had a wonderful dinner with my dad.

Thursday... I got to play golf again with my hubster.  Again, it was perfect and so fun.  However, it was HOT, really HOT!!  We are talking 102 degrees.  I played ok until I was too hot to play.  Which I have never truly experienced here but it is possible.  We had a dinner with just the four of us at the club which was sad but wonderful.  I enjoy all my time with my parents but it was just getting to be too much for them.  Funny how they get tired and worn out but a mom can not.

Friday... My dad and Ted got to play golf with my great Uncle Johnny (yes, we took the Johnny from him- but not his name-- my John is a family name, we just call him Johnny) and he played with my dad's cousin husband.  It was great to see family but more importantly I got to see my cousin and her three boys whom I have never met.  My cousin is perfect, she is beautiful, has three adorable boys and a perfect family.  They are sweet and even though our visit was short it was wonderful!  Truly wonderful.  It reaffirms that we MUST plan a family reunion and FAST.  Kids are growing up too fast and some of us have never met other family members kids. That night we had our final dinner at the club.  It was bittersweet.  My kids were tired and super exhausted, therefore, not behaving their best.  But it was our last night.

Saturday... I spent the ENTIRE morning, it seems, packing and getting ready to head back to Colorado.  As I packed I thought about the past week and how wonderful it was.  Hollin cracked all of us repeatedly.  Johnny made HUGE gains in his speech and personality the entire week.  It was truly a dream...

I had to leave...
I didn't want it to end...
I cried...
Hollin cried...
Johnny was clueless...
Ted was stressed about all our luggage and lack of help in Palm Springs Airport...
The trip was over...

Our flight back was BUMPY!  Remember back to my other blog post and the bumps.  I could tackle the bumps, I get the bumps.  I don't like the bumps.  It is really symbolic that we had such a long flight filled with bumps and we were headed back to where all my bumps are formed.  Really?  Can't I just continue to have the peace I had this last week?

Highlights from this week...
Time with my hubby!
Hollin and her hilarious personality and constants laughs as a result
Johnny coming into his own even more than I thought possible
Ted being so happy
Seeing my mom
Seeing my dad
Spending time with my mom and dad
The food
EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

Why must vacation end?  Was it really all just a dream?  Something this good, can't be real... I loved my California dream...

California dream

We made it...
We made it to California...
We made it to vacation...
We made it through Hollin's bout with HSP...
We made it through Johnny's tube surgery last week...
We made it through it all...
But most of this week has been pure joy, and in so many ways...

It all started with last week, yes last week, before we even made it to California. I had a lot to get through to be able to make it California. I had appointments, lots of appointments. The BIG appointment was Johnny getting tubes on Thursday. It is hard and I was nervous. As mother would be but this gave me so many other fears that only the people closest to me understand. We made it, he came home and I had to pack and get ready for California. I needed this and I deserved it.

We got to the airport very early. There was NO way I was going to miss this flight. We were given the gift of being able to stay in the Red Carpet Club to wait for our flight. And then, our flight was delayed, DELAYED! Did these airlines not know that my kids were tired, it was naptime and I needed them on the plane, so they could nap. Were we ever going to get there? Was this awful, horrific winter,EVER going to end?

The time came... Time to board the plane. Were we ever going to get to California? Again, was this winter going to end? We, the four of us, our little family, squeezed into the tiny, and I mean tiny plane and before I knew it we were in the air. The clouds were below us and we were on our way. Sunshine here we come...

The landing into Palm Springs was less than perfect. Rather far from perfect, it was bumpy and I was scared. Scared more than knowing my daughter can't walk because of an illness? Or that my son is struggling? No... I can for once in my life tackle these bumps because they have got NOTHING on me. I am great at bumps now.

We walked quickly through the airport, found baggage and just a few minutes later... There they were my parents! I wanted/needed them so much the past few months. There they were! Finally!

We made it...

(more to come)

All our houses

Hollin is hilarious! I have said this before but she makes me laugh, she is funny! Every weekend we head up to Breckenridge on Friday night. Hollin calls our condo in Breckenridge "the mountain house." She loves it and every week we count how many sleeps until she gets to go to the mountain house. Then as we drive up to the mountain house she asks us many sleeps until we go back to the Colorado house, once I respond to only 2, she cries. Then she weeps and explains that I should tell my students that we need more than two sleeps and so they are going to have to do without me. She is so cute.

Now she is starting the countdown to when she gets to go to the California house. We don't have a house in California. My parents, yes they do, but it is not ours. She seems to think it is and for that I will let her live like this. Until then I can't wait to get to California, because as our germ infested bodies have told us we need some natural vitamins (sunshine).

Johnny is pretty stinking funny too. My favorite thing that makes me laugh is anytime I mention btw, bye strips. It does not matter where we are. It is funny, really funny. Except when you are in the middle of a store or in a restaurant. No, scratch that it is funny.

He is also really sweet. Every morning he goes into Hollin's room and hollers, "sissy" in the highest pitch screech and it is adorable. It is even more adorable when Hollin springs out of bed to give him hug and kiss and say, "good morning, Boo bear." I love it and every time I see them interact like this I smile.

I just heard it...

She said it... I NEVER wanted to hear it and I was crushed.  What did she say? 

"Mommy, you're mean." 

Can I cry now?  It devasted me... I know she didn't mean it but WOW!

Why did she say it?

The scenario... I asked her to clean up HER mess and in the process I took out her movie that she picked to go to bed and avoid cleaning.  She tried running up to her room, but daddy intervened and so she is now cleaning. 

This is just the beginning and I see that now...

NURSE!!!!!

2011 has started out really crappy.  We have NOT been healthy.  All of us have been really sick and I am over it.  I am a nurse now.  Never thought I would carry that title. 

Hollin started out the year with one of the worse cases of croup I have seen.  Croup is easy to determine because you are woken up to a seal barking in your house, oh wait that is a kid!  It was my kid and she was really sick.  She had a high fever accompanied with hallucinations.  She would get up in a deep sleep and start yelling and running around.  She looked awake but she wasn't and it took a long time to get her out of it.  As a mom, it is scary, really scary.  You don't know what to do, go to ER, call doctor or wait it out.  We finally got to the doctor and they gave her steroids to help her feel better.  The steroids help with the barking but it does not help with the cough.  Her cough just stuck around forever. 

With Hollin getting croup it was inevitable that Johnny would get it, and he did!  He started barking, we got steroids and his "bark" went away but he continues to cough.  Eventually his cough became a runny gunky nose and I knew what that meant... ear infection.  Back to the doctor we went and sure enough, another ear infection.  No wonder he doesn't talk, he is constantly hearing the world muffled due to his ear infections.  Amoxicillian here we come!  Yet again.  The pediatrician also put Hollin on Amoxicillian as a precaution because...

during all this I got strep!   I have never had strep.  It was awful and I feel horrible for never giving anyone enough sympathy when they had strep.  I thought I had an ear infection because I couldn't swallow without plugging my ears.  I was achy, had a high fever, the works.  It is awful being as sick as I was and having to take care of my kids.  I don't care what is wrong with me, my job is mom, first and foremost, and I was failing at this job because of how sick I was.  I hated this feeling.  I cried and hard, because I was so scared about how sick I was and not being able to take care of my kids.  For me nothing could be worse.  I love taking care of them.

Just after we were all on antibiotics and I was thinking things were looking up a storm broke out.  Hollin came up to me telling me she had goosebumps all over her body.  I looked and panicked.  I was convinced she had chicken pox.  We called Annie (our angel) and she came right down and looked at Hollin's bumps.  Not chicken pox, allergic reaction to amoxicillian?  We thought that was it for sure.  I gave her benadryl, discontinued amoxicillian and went to work the next day thinking she was fine except that her "hives" were going to take more than one dose of Benadryl to go away. 

After being at work for a couple hours Annie (our angel and daycare lady) emailed me explaining that Hollin would not walk.  She said her ankles hurt and Annie instructed me to call doctor.  Now for those of you that don't know Annie, she is always calm and thinks the doctor is not neccessary most of the time.  Now she was telling me to call the doctor.  I panicked and did as I was told.  It was for my daughter after all.  I called, they asked too many questions only to result in saying they needed to see her.  Um, Hello, I am a teacher, what am I suppose to do?  Say, "hey class, I know you are only 8 but you can teach yourself for the rest of the day while I take Hollin to doctor."  Um, no.  I called Ted, he is about ready to walk into a big meeting and so I was stuck.  Again, our angel (Annie) came to the rescue and had her 21 year old son take my sweet baby girl to pediatrician.  What 21 year old will take a 4 year old with spots all over and can't walk to the doctor?  This one!  He rose to the occasion and I will never be able to truly tell him how grateful I am.  He had to help Hollin get a pee sample for goodness sake.  Impressive right? 

The pediatrician determined that Hollin had HSP or Henoch-Schonlein purpura.  It is not common and very scary.  I had a million questions and I was panicked.  Very panicked!  I called the doctor myself (even though he already called Ted) I had a million questions and I needed to hear how terrified I needed to be.  It is scary and we had no idea how bad it was going to be and what was coming.  Would it be easy and good?  Or would it be awful and result in us being in the hospital?  He answered my questions but in the end, I was still unresolved and terrified.  My parents were about ready to fly home from California.  Time was what would determine how bad she would get and I was not about ready to wait.  But waiting is what I did and had to do! 

I waited and she got better, got bad again, and got better.  She is still covered in spots but is walking!  She will be in pain suddenly and not able to walk at any given moment and therefore, we are still watching her.  Are we scared?  Terrified?  YES!  We are trying to remain calm and help Hollin.  Why can't I fix this?  My job as a mom is to protect my kids but when they are sick and you can't fix it, kills me!  No one prepared me for this, or told me how hard it would be when your kids are sick.  Could anyone prepare me?  No but I am getting through it.  I love my husband, my angel (Annie), my parents and everyone else for helping me.  Without them I can not help Hollin or Johnny. 

Mommy Lense

We all view life differently.  Some of us view our lives negatively, or positively or just like a typical day and not really noticing the miraculous things that occur daily.  I use to be that person, I would just go about day to day and not think about the things I was fortunate enough to experience and see.  I am truly really lucky and I get to see amazing things daily.  I am a teacher and I get to see the "light bulb" turn on daily for my students- who else can say they have this at work!  It makes teaching what it is.  But it is not the "teacher lense" that I enjoy the most or even that made the change from day to day ritual to truly being grateful for everything.

My favorite "lense" is the mommy lense.  I have a 20 month old and a four year old.  Think about all the new things they experience and see on a day to day basis.  So, as I go about my day to day routine, my kids are learning and seeing things for the first time.  And, therefore, I see them too!  The one thing I am seeing the most of lately is my kids are growing up and too fast! 

Hollin started ski school.  We got her into the incredible program available through the Breckenridge Ski Resort and she gets to ski every Saturday for eight weeks.  I am seeing her all grown up and independent.  We drop her off each morning at the gondola, with her lunch in hand, layers of clothes, sunscreen, helmet, goggles, lunch made (of course with a note from Mommy- who did not love this as a kid).  I always knew I wanted MY kids to ski, and I couldn't wait for the day (especially after my year of teaching kids to ski myself).  I was excited that first day dropping her off... and then I realized my new "lense"  I was no longer the ski instructor that I once was, I was a mom and I was now questioning if this "ski instructor" was qualified enough to have MY daughter all day on a BIG mountain, with THOUSANDS of people and most importantly on a HIGH LIFT!!  I was terrified, but so excited about the new possibilities for her!  This I know, is just the beginning of her new found independence and my new "lense" of seeing my daughter grow up. 

Recently, Johnny has been going through Speech Therapy.  I am a teacher, and I pride myself on what I am able to accomplish with my students in my classroom.  I believe that I help my students grow academically and socially each year.  I never thought that MY son would struggle with something as simple as talking.  We all know that I talk all the time and have NO problem talking.  Johnny does.  He needs help and is taking to learning on how to talk but at HIS rate.  I look at him and realize that my "lense," the mom, can't fix this.  I can help him but I can't fix it.  It will take time, and who am I kidding... I am not patient!  He is improving and my new "lense" shows me what each little accomplishment means.  I am watching him grow and learn.  Even though I think it is too slow and he needs help, it is overall, too fast! 

I also get to see my kids in a new light about how their personalities have changed daily.  Hollin acts JUST like me!  With a purse, phone, shopping bags and a baby in hand.  She is me-- never expected to see that in my "lense."  Johnny is coming in to his own.  He loves to play with the games on phones, switch light switches, and tonight he laid down on the carpet with his hands behind his head and watched Wipeout.  He is his dad-- NEVER thought I would see what Ted was like as a little boy.  That is a "lense" I am embracing.  I have a new incredible view of the world.  And for that I am grateful and blessed. 

Stop and take a look at the way you view the world... try something different... view it differently.  You will love it... I know I do!